sitting-on-step“Describe yourself” prompts.  Here’s where vocational labels merit intellect and audacity; authority is found in the piece of paper granted by an institution to a particular field of study; and immortality projects find their footing in our souls.

I’m not yesterday.  I’m not where I live, the title on a nameplate, or  body of work produced.

I’m personal. I seek the sensual intimacy  and deeper purpose within it all;  I yearn for it.  I There are themes in life, when celebrated and engaged, enliven and transform my soul continually:  creativity, community, and conservation.  I taste sublimity in the welcomed dissonance of communal life.  Housing simplicity, it erodes the acute demands of modernity and eschews societies veracious expectations. Laughter and joy then become a resplendent perennial presence throughout the day, subtly stringing together moments, present to and lived in the divinity.

Life together, though accordingly intermittent and at times absent, is a direct corollary to my spiritual well-being.

I love being given the ability to create. Blending hues, textures, colors, and layering from “ex nihilo,” to make tangible the act of worship with breath and form.  I love to express and taste music, pouring it out spontaneously on those around me.  Conservation is a prayer lived: “on earth as it is in heaven.”  Prairies and neighborhoods, rural agrarian communities and abandoned city blocks, marginalized and privileged; they deserve a reckless, raw embodiment of hope where my actions bring redemption and restoration into their lives.

I have passions and convictions, birthed often in lofty idealism.  Apathy induces most into dormancy before they can mature.  I cry often.  Empiricism and experiential mysticism with the divine, seem to be the indigenous language of my soul.  I writhe complacency and indifference, knowing my adversative outward pursuit is subconsciously self-directed of what I feel lies inwardly.  Coffee accompanied contemplative prayer, apophatic meditation, gardening, writing in any facet, unreserved belting to Steffany Gretzinger-led worship, immersive wilderness therapy, and the stillness of a morning restore my soul.  I’m fueled by heretical questions, curiosity and doubts.  I celebrate the creative tension and ambiguity of faith that invites humility, believing it to be a means of living and engaging the world rather than a set of beliefs.  I always want to find Love in the act of, not as the object.

I believe you find love on the threshing floor of vulnerability and acceptance, which is where I hope to live someday: loving first, risking everything, asking for nothing.