“Describe yourself” prompts. Here’s where vocational labels merit intellect and audacity; authority is found in the piece of paper granted by an institution to a particular field of study; and immortality projects find their footing in our souls.
I’m not yesterday. I’m not where I live, the title on a nameplate, or body of work produced.
I’m personal. I seek the sensual intimacy and deeper purpose within it all; I yearn for it. I There are themes in life, when celebrated and engaged, enliven and transform my soul continually: creativity, community, and conservation. I taste sublimity in the welcomed dissonance of communal life. Housing simplicity, it erodes the acute demands of modernity and eschews societies veracious expectations. Laughter and joy then become a resplendent perennial presence throughout the day, subtly stringing together moments, present to and lived in the divinity.
Life together, though accordingly intermittent and at times absent, is a direct corollary to my spiritual well-being.
I love being given the ability to create. Blending hues, textures, colors, and layering from “ex nihilo,” to make tangible the act of worship with breath and form. I love to express and taste music, pouring it out spontaneously on those around me. Conservation is a prayer lived: “on earth as it is in heaven.” Prairies and neighborhoods, rural agrarian communities and abandoned city blocks, marginalized and privileged; they deserve a reckless, raw embodiment of hope where my actions bring redemption and restoration into their lives.
I have passions and convictions, birthed often in lofty idealism. Apathy induces most into dormancy before they can mature. I cry often. Empiricism and experiential mysticism with the divine, seem to be the indigenous language of my soul. I writhe complacency and indifference, knowing my adversative outward pursuit is subconsciously self-directed of what I feel lies inwardly. Coffee accompanied contemplative prayer, apophatic meditation, gardening, writing in any facet, unreserved belting to Steffany Gretzinger-led worship, immersive wilderness therapy, and the stillness of a morning restore my soul. I’m fueled by heretical questions, curiosity and doubts. I celebrate the creative tension and ambiguity of faith that invites humility, believing it to be a means of living and engaging the world rather than a set of beliefs. I always want to find Love in the act of, not as the object.
I believe you find love on the threshing floor of vulnerability and acceptance, which is where I hope to live someday: loving first, risking everything, asking for nothing.